Make Time for Important Conversations

Whether you are gathering for a meal or celebrating an occasion, not only is it a chance to catch up on everyone’s news, it's also a not-to-be missed opportunity to initiate important conversations.

Plan Now to be Ready for the Unexpected
Busy lives and careers can keep us from seeing family members as much as we’d like, and sometimes leave us unaware of issues they may be facing but hesitant to share. That’s why it is important to gather critical information when you meet in person – even when it means stepping out of your comfort zone. Doing so will help your family be prepared to assist loved ones when they need it most.

When talking with family members, especially aging parents or other elders, try to get a sense of health, personal or financial issues they may be dealing with and how they are handling them. Financial, legal, health care and long-term care issues affect entire families as well as individuals. The more you know about their situation, the more you will be able to identify and help address their needs.

Every family is different, but the ultimate goal is to understand a person’s wishes and needs, and create a workable plan that can be carried out by others if necessary. Here are some important issues to address with aging relatives to be prepared when needs arise:

• Plan Without Pressure
  Begin the conversation early, before decisions must be made and while your loved one is able to talk about complicated issues such as budgeting, wills and estate plans. Now is also the time to create a durable power of attorney to help manage financial matters.
   
• Document Medical History
  Be sure there is a complete medical record. Ask for details and document major illnesses and hospitalizations, injuries and operations, and any diseases or hereditary conditions in the family. Assemble a file with this medical history as well as names and records of doctors, medications and dosages so you can answer pertinent health questions if needed. Share the file with others who may be enlisted to help.
   
• Understand the Financials
  Learn where important financial documents are kept and help your loved one inventory the assets in retirement plans, investments, permanent life insurance, pensions and Social Security to clearly understand his or her financial picture. Identify any debts or liabilities that need to be paid and how they can be covered. A financial representative can help identify options that would be best suited to meet income and legacy needs. Consider tax issues and consult a tax adviser as needed.
   
• Learn About Health Insurance and Prescription Coverage
  Define your relative’s prescription drug and medical care costs and talk about the resources available to pay for them. Does he or she have Medicare or other health care coverage? What about prescription drug benefits or gap coverage? Depending on income, he or she may qualify for government help or resources.
   
• Consider Future Health Care Needs and Wishes
  Discuss as a family any plans your loved one may have to cover the cost of long-term care, and ask specific questions to clarify other health care and financial wishes. Document these in advance directives including a living will, health care power of attorney and a letter of instruction. Be aware that laws vary, so it is important to use forms that are readily accepted by doctors, hospitals and attorneys in your state. The AARP web site has state-specific information and forms.
   
• Evaluate the Home and Community
  When possible, visit your relative at home to ensure it is a safe environment that will suit his or her changing needs into the future. Look for good lighting, slip- and trip-resistant flooring, easy-grip door handles instead of knobs, and bathrooms with safety features to help avoid falls. Also evaluate what the local community offers in terms of health care, transportation, activities and services that are suited to his or her needs.
   
• Develop a Family Care Plan
  When family members are together, discuss how you would handle caregiving should it be required. Consider who might serve as primary caregiver, possible compensation, and how the family might share the cost of medical supplies or accommodations. Various resources are available to guide families and caregivers, including the Eldercare Locator from the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services and the AARP Caregiving Resource Center.

When you talk through and plan as a family for the challenges that aging parents and elders may face, you all will be better prepared to navigate the road ahead. Initiating important conversations is another way to manage risks to you and your family.

Your Northwestern Mutual financial representative can help you find ways to manage these and other financial security risks. Also ask for a copy of the “Guide to the Future” brochure, which provides a place to record policy numbers, account information and key documents you’ll need to support a loved one’s needs.